


Daggers, and Tacos, and Vampires, Oh My!

by GeezerWench



Category: Supernatural, Twilight
Genre: AU, Action, Adventure, Alternate Universe, Bella x Dean, BellaxDean, Crossover, DeanxBella, F/M, GeezerWench, Humor, Supernatural Crossover, Twilight crossover, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 12:17:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13880712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeezerWench/pseuds/GeezerWench
Summary: Category: Twilight / Supernatural crossoverSummary: Sam and Dean take their new apprentice to meet their mentor, Bobby Singer, and things get a little out of hand. Episode 2, sequel to Stick Her with a Fork. Written for the 2017 Fandoms for Hope and Relief. (language, violence, character death – not a main character) adventure, supernatural, action, romance.Title: Daggers, and Tacos, and Vampires, Oh My!Author: GeezerWenchCharacters / Pairing: Dean/Bella, Sam, Bobby SingerGenre:  adventure, supernatural, action, romanceRating: M (language, violence, character death – not a main character)Beta/Pre-Reader: BonzieBanner by: GeezerWenchWords: total 3925Prompt/inspiration:Complete. 2 chapters.Disclaimer: Derivative work. I make no money.A/N: Written for the 2017 Fandoms for Hope and Relief in response to Hurricanes Harvey, Irma, and Maria, and the earthquake in Mexico on 09/19/2017. It brought in $680.00!Meanwhile, come visit me on my WordPress site: GeezerWench.com





	1. Daggers chapter 1

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“So, where’s this guy Bobby and _why_ are we in his house?” Bella asked Sam. Both were loaded down with filled-to-bursting plastic grocery bags. They struggled to haul them into the dated but homey kitchen all in one trip. When they were finally able to pile the bounty on the rectangular, white-painted table pushed under a wide window, each let out a satisfied grunt.

Dean sauntered in from the adjoining darkened room that was a study or library of some sort. Bella really hadn’t gotten a good look before Sam suggested they make a food run. Maybe she’d have a chance to explore the house later.

“He hasn’t called us back yet. Probably on a case.” Eyebrows raised with curiosity, Dean leaned over to check for goodies in all the bags.

“Here ya go, Dean.” Sam thrust a cold long neck into his hand and spun him around, herding him back toward the study. “Uh, Bella, Bobby’s kind of like our … mentor?”

“I wanna see what you got at the store,” Dean complained. “You get me anything?” He tried to push Sam out of the way to reach the table. “He’s sort of like an uncle. Maybe like a step dad.”

“Dean, let’s just let Bella put things away. She promised to make tacos.” He smiled widely, nodding his head. “Right, Bella?”

Sam towered over her so she had to tip her head way back to look up at him. “Yeah, just let me put all of this somewhere and then I’ll get started.” She lifted some bright red tomatoes out of a bag she had moved to the counter by the sink and placed them in the window sill, and then reached for the refrigerator. “Again, why are we here?”

“Well, because … you’re a woman, and … and …” Dean stuttered.

Straightening stiffly from her examination of the appallingly empty cavern of the refrigerator, Bella turned slowly to face the flannel-clad men. “What has being a woman got to do with it?” She elbowed the fridge door shut and crossed her arms over her own flannel shirt.

“What Dean is trying to say is this is a safe house for us. A home base.” Sam grabbed a beer of his own, still hanging onto Dean’s arm. “After spending days in the car, it’s good to stretch our legs, sleep in an actual bed—”

Dean added quickly, “Uh, yeah! Shower in a bathroom that a million other skeevy people haven’t used in some cheap motel, and—”

“And a woman needs to be in a kitchen to cook you dinner?” One contemptuous eyebrow crept up her forehead.

“Well, ha ha,” Dean’s strained chuckle filled the quiet room. “If you insist …”

The forced good humor dropped from his face when he saw the size of the blade in Bella’s hand and he swallowed thickly. “Where …? Y-you’ve gotten pretty good at that.”

“She’s gotten even better at throwing them,” Sam hissed and hooked his arm through his brother’s. “She practiced during your naps. Why the hell do you two keep fighting? Let’s go power up the laptop and look for another job.”

“Before I really tick her off and she doesn’t make tacos?”

Before they could escape the kitchen, Bella spun to her left and flung the knife.

All that could be heard in the stunned silence that followed were Bella’s quick shallow breaths as she reached to the wooden block on the counter to retrieve another pointy projectile.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Bella! Stop!” Dean shoved Sam out of the way, set his beer down on the table, and leapt toward Bella, grabbing her arm. “Stop! That’s Bobby!”

The bearded intruder stood stock still in the side doorway and released the duffle bag in his hand. It landed with a loud clank. Raising one grizzled eyebrow, he deliberately turned to look over his shoulder at the new wall decoration several feet behind him—a well-worn and frayed blue ball cap pinned with a rune-etched eight-inch dagger.

“Nice throw,” Sam murmured in awe before he finally regained his senses and darted toward Bella.

She slammed the butcher knife down onto the counter and muttered, “I was aiming for his chest.”

With a loud harrumph, Bobby faced them again, face red and eyes sparking dangerously. “You boys mind tellin’ me who this little girl is in my kitchen?” He propped his hands on his belt. “And why she tried to _skewer_ me in my own damn house?”

Before anyone had a chance to comment, Bella was flinging water all over him from a little metal flask. “You sure this is your friend Bobby and not some demon? His face is awfully red.”

Both brothers scrambled to grab her hands and take the container of holy water away from her. For good measure, while Dean held her hands, Sam pushed the knife block out of reach.

Dean nudged her back against the counter. “Red eyes not _face_. Yeah, Bella, we’re sure he’s not a demon. He just gets like that when people try to shish kabob him,” Dean explained.

Sam let out a huff and clapped his hands together, hoping proper introductions would help ease the tension. “Er, yes, Bella, this is our good friend and mentor, Bobby Singer,” he said, stretching one hand toward the fuming man. “Bobby, this is Bella Swan. We met her over in Forks, Washington.”

“Stupid name for a town. Never heard of it.” Clenching his teeth around a quiet snarl, Bobby stomped to the back wall, yanked out the knife and jammed the hat down on his head. He stood glaring at them, gripping the leather-wrapped handle of the weapon as if he was contemplating throwing it back. He let out a gusty sigh, leaned toward the counter, and gently placed the knife down. “You boys bringin’ home strays now?”

“I’m not a little girl _or_ a stray. I’m the new apprentice.” Bella forcefully wrenched her hands from Dean’s and leaned against the chipped counter. “They blew up my house, and there’s vampires and werewolves after me.”

“Apprentice? C’mon, Bells,” Dean whined. “Bobby, she’s exaggerating. We didn’t blow up the whole thing.”

“You blew up enough of it. We really should have gotten the body out of there before we left.” Belle shoved Dean out of her way and grabbed another bag from the table. “How’s Charlie supposed to explain _that_ to the insurance company?” She set it down on the counter by the sink a little harder than absolutely necessary. “Hey, maybe he’ll get enough money to add another bathroom. I should write him a note and tell him to consider it.”

“Well, with the wolves coming, we didn’t have time.” Sam cleared his throat nervously.

Dean let out a derisive snort. “A pack of giant, slavering, drooling, rabid, out-of-their mind—”

Sam elbowed him to shut him up. “They’ll probably just think your friend—”

“ _Ex_ -friend,” Bella reminded him with a growl.

“Uh, right,” Sam nodded in agreement. “Ex-friend. They’ll probably just think he was the arsonist caught in his own fire.”

Bella slapped her hands down on the counter and unhurriedly turned to face him, eying Bobby, who was still standing in the doorway, and Dean, who was attempting to get a peek into the bags.

Cocking her head to the side, Bella flipped her hair over her shoulders and then propped her hands on her hips. “With multiple gunshot and knife wounds?” She squeezed her eyes shut and brought her hand to her forehead. “He was Charlie’s best friend’s son. Why would anyone think he’d blow up Charlie’s house? Especially since I happened to disappear?”

Bobby’s head swiveled from person to person, watching the exchange. He nodded in agreement at Bella and looked to Dean, the question written all over his face.

Dean glanced toward Sam for help. When none was forthcoming, Dean burst out with, “How many times we gotta go over this? Your old pal was obviously nuts, trying to kidnap you and hopped up on some kind of Ki-yoot ju-ju, being some kind of ghost … wolf … dude-thing … Crazy people do crazy things, and the fire should have been hot enough to take care of the knife and bullet wounds.” He shrugged, pleased with his own explanation. “Your dad was glad you weren’t hurt and seemed to believe your story about needing to get outta Forks.”

Bella eyebrows lowered angrily and she took a step forward. “I _told_ you they’re called _Spirit Warriors_. And what choice did I have? We were already gone. I probably should have gone back to tell him face-to-face, not a phone call from … _where_ were we when I called him?”

“Chugwater, Wyoming,” Dean answered helpfully.

“Okay, okay. That’s enough.” Bobby came farther into the room, his hands held up to try and calm everyone. “I’ll take one of those beers, and I hope you brought more. This sounds like it’s going to be a long story. It’ll make our little road trip go by faster.”

Bella was confused. “Road trip?”

.

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Words: 1511


	2. Daggers chapter 2

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“How much longer until we get there?” Bella asked from the back seat of the Impala.

In the front passenger side, Bobby added an eye roll to his world weary sigh. “I told ya their hide out was a couple hours south of my place. We’re almost there. _You’re_ the one wanted to eat first.”

“And _I_ told you, Bells” Dean glanced at her in the rear view mirror, “You should have stayed back at the house. A nest of these blood-sucking parasites aren’t going to be all nice and civilized like your sparkly friends were. These are _real_ vampires. Nothin’ to play high school games with.”

As Bella opened her mouth to retort, Sam held up one hand. “Dean, Bella, please. It wasn’t so you could wash all the dishes or whatever else _you_ think _he_ was thinking.” He shifted slightly in the seat next to her so he could see her better. “We’re not from the early twentieth century. We will _all_ clean up after we get back.”

“If we all _get_ back,” Dean growled. “Like I said, these are _real_ vampires and—”

“ _And_ ,” Bobby interrupted them all. “That was a pretty interestin’ story you told about the Cold Ones and Spirit Warriors, Bella. Ya say fire is the only thing that kills ‘em?”

Bella glared heatedly at the back of Dean’s head before answering. “Yes. They can be torn to pieces but that doesn’t kill them. They can put themselves back together.”

“Ug.” Dean shuddered. “That’s just nasty.”

Sam cleared his throat rather loudly. “You said they have venom and it’s flammable? So you have to break them apart to get to the venom?”

“I guess so.” Bella shrugged. “They don’t have blood. All their … body fluids are venom. Or that’s what Alice implied. She’s Edward’s sister. It _must_ be because Edward never did more than give me a peck on the lips. His saliva was venomous so—”  

Dean grumbled again and his fingers flexed over the steering wheel. “How much farther, Bobby?” he asked, voice strained.

“Down a bit. Next dirt road on the right. Pull over and we’ll walk up to the old barn they’re stayin’ in.” Frowning, Bobby studied the oldest Winchester. Dean sure was behaving strangely around the girl. “There’s only about four or five of ‘em in this nest. Shouldn’t be a problem.”

As Dean pulled over to the side of the road and put the car in park, still grousing under his breath, Bobby continued. “Remember Bella, it’s better to stay back a ways until we can see where they all are. Sun’s almost down, so they’ll be getting ready to leave.”

“It doesn’t burn them?”

“No, and they don’t sparkle either. They look just like regular humans until all their fangs come out. Bein’ in the sun just gives them a bad sunburn so they tend to hunt at night.” The door creaked as Bobby climbed out of the car and offered his hand to Bella. “Remember, don’t get close unless you’re sure you got room to swing a blade and take their heads off. Ya sure you can do that without losin’ your lunch? It’s pretty gruesome.”

Dean had been digging around the trunk and reluctantly thrust a machete at her. “You shoulda stayed back. We can handle this. It’s danger—”

“I can handle it, and don’t _even_ say it’s _dangerous_.” She snatched the long blade from his hand, spun around, and stalked off down the dirt lane.

Dean hefted his own machete and took off after her. “Hey, wait up!”

Bobby shook his head and glanced up at Sam. “Besides lookin’ like twins with the boots, dungarees, and matchin’ flannel shirts, what is goin’ on with those two? Maybe they shouldn’t have any weapons. They might kill each other.”

Sam gazed Heavenward and quickly strapped on a wide leather belt and checked the blade in the attached sheath. He lifted a sawed-off shotgun from the trunk and closed the lid. “I’m starting to think they _like_ each other. But Bella is angry at the world because her last friend— _ex_ -friend, the Quileute shape shifter we told you about—tried to kidnap her, and her previous boyfriend, who also happened to be Edward-the-glittery-vampire, dumped her and broke her heart.”

“Shoulda known. Dean never got all that worked up about women hunters before. Even apprentice hunters.” Bobby shook his head in consternation as he looked down at the ground. “Bella actually dated one of them things? And she just said she kissed it?” He gave his own shudder to that thought. “I could see that pissin’ Dean off. Not to mention the datin’ the monster part.” He patted himself down for his own weapons, and with a nod, headed off down the dirt road beside Sam.

Just as they approached the curve in what was a glorified cow path, they heard a decidedly angry, feminine shriek and an equally enraged bellow.

A man with long, shaggy hair had Bella in a choke hold and was holding her up high enough her feet couldn’t touch the ground. He snarled at Dean who was ten feet in front of him, slightly crouched, long flashing blade at the ready.

“You’re not getting her back, man.” The vampire pressed his nose into her hair. “I never smelled _anything_ as good as her. So good, I’m thinking I won’t even share her with the rest of them.”

“Why does everyone always say that!?!” Bella started kicking at the monster’s legs.

“You let her go!” Dean charged forward and stopped when the monster’s jagged fangs erupted from his gums.

Twisting in his arms, Bella let go of the hold she had on his arm and slid the knife from the sheath at her back. Blade flashing in the dying sunlight, she raked it across his forearm then reached across herself to jab it into her captor’s right side.

Grunting in utter shock, he threw her away from him and clutched at the knife still sticking out of him. “Oh, you’re gonna pay for that, you little bitch.” He slid it out and threw it to the ground right before he fell flat on his back.

After rolling across the dusty, hard-packed earth, Bella gained her feet and scrambled to retrieve the machete she’d dropped when the vampire had grabbed her.

Sam was by his brother’s side, eyes darting all around. “Hey, Bobby, I thought you said there were only four or five of them? I count seven.” He gulped. “Practically surrounding us.”

“Ain’t nothin’ we can’t take care of, boy.” Bobby backed toward the Winchester brothers, knife held out in front of him.

“But we’ve got _this_ ,” a new, low, female voice stated from beyond the end of the barn.

A tall, lanky woman leisurely strolled toward them, holding up a coarsely woven bag.

Machete in one hand, another knife in the other, Bella shuffled closer to the hunters, keeping watch on the oddly dressed woman.

Mouth falling open, Bella gaped at her. “Wow, they really _do_ look just like regular people. The clothes are a little—”

“Who the hell are you supposed to be?” Dean sneered as he crept incrementally closer to Bella who was still too far away, his eyes snapping to each vampire forming a loose circle around them. “Disco Queen Annie Hall?”

“You’ve seen that movie?” Sam questioned out of the side of his mouth.

Dean just snorted at his brother, never taking his eyes from the woman in the black bowler-style hat with the wide brim turned down, white shirt, black sequined vest, and ‘70’s reject shiny silk tie.

The vamp ignored him and turned her eyes to her nest-mate lying on the ground. “Get up, Troy. You’ll heal.”

“That little bitch stabbed me, Celestia!” he groaned, gingerly making his way to his feet, his hand pressed to his side.

“ _Celestia_? You’re kiddin’, right?” Despite being outnumbered by the menacing creatures of the dark, Dean couldn’t suppress the smirk.

“Shut up, _human_.” Celestia’s red-painted lip curled in a sneer. Her icy regard returned to the bleeding Troy. “You were stupid to let her be so close without checking for weapons.”

“She’s just a little girl! Why would I think—”

 Celestia’s hand snapped up and Troy’s mouth snapped shut. “The human _does_ smell divine. I think after I’ve had my fill, I may share with the rest of you.”

Guardedly shifting from foot to foot, Bella “What the hell am I—catnip for supernatural creatures!?!” she shouted, frustrated. “What’s that bag she’s holding?”

Before any of the hunters could answer, Celestia held it even higher and smiled. “A hex bag from a witch.” She proudly waved it in the air. “With a protection spell.”

“That’s an angel sigil painted on it,” Sam spit out. “It’s supposed to hide you from _angels_ , not from _us_.”

Dean clenched his teeth. “God, I hate witches. You just can’t trust ‘em.”

Bobby gruffly added, “And it didn’t protect your boy-toy, I mean _Troy_ , from our girl almost guttin’ him.”

The stress getting to her, Bella shrieked, “Why haven’t they attacked?”

“She’s the leader of their nest. Might even be their sire.” Bobby tilted his head toward the woman. “They don’t make a move without her say-so.”

Celestia was becoming even more incensed as her intended prey ignored her and continued to talk among themselves. “What do you mean it’s an angel sigil? I was assured it would protect my family!”

“Only from angels, sweetie, and we ain’t no angels.” Dean taunted the nest leader.

Patience gone, Bella let out a war cry and bounded toward the vampire queen, drawing the lengthy blade back, making ready to swing.

The Annie Hall look-alike threw the useless hex bag at her, and Bella instinctively brought her hands up to block it. When it struck, there was a blinding flash of light. The vampire leader and Troy were both blown backwards past the end of the barn. Bella was hurled in the opposite direction and landed with a heavy thud at the feet of Bobby, Sam, and Dean.

Taking advantage of the other vampires’ distraction and concern for their leader, Sam swung the sawed-off into play and pulled the trigger. He pumped in one shell after another, blasting and dropping three of the stunned creatures. Meanwhile, to his left, Bobby swung his glinting weapon, slicing through a female vamp’s raised arm and then nearly beheading her.

In a well-practiced move, Dean tossed the machete to his left hand and smoothly drew his .45 from under his shirt with his right, shooting one vampire between the eyes and holding him off for the time being. He spun away from the fallen enemy, using a backhanded swing to drive the machete completely through the neck of the remaining vamp.

When that one hit the dirt, Dean leapt toward the merely wounded parasite and lopped off his head.

Sam and Bobby sprinted for the sluggishly recovering nest leader and her long-haired sidekick.

Dean wiped the blade off on the clothes of the male vampire he’d dispatched, holstered his gun, and dropped to his knees beside Bella, scooping her up into his arms.

“Bella! Bells! Talk to me!” He clutched her limp form to his chest and buried his face in her neck. “Bella, please talk to me. Wake up! Please!” he pleaded.

“Hey, Dean?” Sam quietly walked up behind his brother. “They’re all down. How’s Bella?”

“I don’t know.” His voice cracked with his worry. “She won’t wake up. What the hell happened?”

Sam crouched down beside them and lifted Bella’s right hand. “I think the hex bag came in contact with the bite scar on her wrist. See? There’s a small burn mark. It’s like the scar repelled it.”

“Or the hex bag repelled the scar.” Bobby stood over them. “She’s breathin’. Just unconscious.” He took a moment to survey the area for any possible stragglers and turned back to the group crouched on the ground. “That went a whole lot better than I expected. Nobody got bit. You boys take her back to the car. I’m gonna clean this up a little. Pick up all the hardware you all managed to lose.”

Just then Bella coughed and her hand went to her forehead. “Dean?” Her voice was barely a whisper. “What the hell happened?”

“Oh, thank God!” He squeezed her even more tightly as he lifted her from the ground. “I thought you were dead! Like … _dead_ dead.” He planted quick kisses on her forehead and cheeks.

“And if you squeeze her any tighter she’s gonna _be_ dead,” Bobby grumbled, as Sam reached for Dean’s arm and hissed, “Ease up!”

Dean moved so abruptly to get to his feet; Bella threw her arms around his neck to hang on. Nearly touching nose-to-nose, they froze, stopping all movement, worried hazel eyes staring intently into brown ones.

“I thought I lost you,” Dean gasped out.

“I … I thought that was _it_ when that thing blew up or whatever it did. Then everything went black,” Bella whispered, the tip of her nose practically touching his. “And then there _you_ were. I thought it was a dream.”

“Uh, we’ll just clean this up here,” Sam said, trying to get their attention. “And meet you two back at the car.”

Dean never even acknowledged his brother talking to him. He gulped as he started walking back down the dirt lane, not taking his eyes off the girl in his arms. “You’re not dead.” His voice was hardly more than a breath. “It’s not a dream. I got you.”

Bella’s deep brown eyes grew even brighter with the tears that welled up. “Dean, I … I have a confession to make. Those tacos I made? They … I mean, they weren’t just—”

“I know.” Dean hushed her by brushing his nose over hers. “You put broccoli in them.”

Guiltily, she tilted her head down and peered up at him. “That’s how I used to sneak vegetables into my Dad’s meals. When Sam said you never ate anything green except the dill pickles on a cheeseburger, I took it as a challenge. You knew? You knew I did that and you ate them anyway?”

Dean’s answer was lost to distance, but Sam and Bobby couldn’t mistake the smile on his face.

Bobby let out yet another long-suffering sigh. “Yeah, Sammy, I think you’re right. They seem to like each other. It’s idjit love.”

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~o~o~o~ the end ~o~o~o~

Words: 2414


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